Myriad articles which espouse superfluous literature on the effective management of work, family, relationships and even our lives have been written. These articles might have caught our attention and we would have tried to incorporate these "Success Traits" in our behavior. But if we ask ourselves whether we have done enough to satiate the hunger of our emotional, intellectual and spiritual self equally, the answer which reverberates from deep within our conscience would startle us. The truth is that we spend most of our time managing others and not our own self. We presume ourselves to be the perfect human beings with little or no flaws and the management of our own self seems like a distant dream, something which is not going to happen. We always try to find fault in others but we never try to see the mistakes in us. We are blinded by our own character hyperbole that our flaws are pushed to oblivion. Let us think for a moment. How often do we question ourselves before an act? We assume that we are unquestionably correct in our approach and proceed likewise. When our act ends in a fiasco, we blame the other as the perpetrator of this failure. Is this the right approach?

Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi's spiritual musings used to centre on one aspect and that is the "Self". His teachings have come out of the perpetual soliloquies and introspection which he used to embark on. His quintessential question "Who am I" speaks volumes about the journey he has undertaken in the spiritual path. The cue from his teaching is "If we don't understand ourselves, how are we going to understand others?" It is the ability to question/rationalize ourselves which differentiates us from other beings. The intellect is something which is uniquely human. But how often we use this? We find it difficult to control our emotions and in the process we end up denigrating the sanctity of the relationships which we cherish. This is ineffective management of our self. We are not aware of how we are going to respond to a particular situation. If we do a post mortem of any of our failed relationships we will notice that we were partially or sometimes even fully responsible for it. The reason is we are not able to manage our own feelings and emotions.

How do we overcome this ineptitude? With our involvement, dedication and a conscious will to change our selves, it is possible to do wonders to your self management prowess. Here are some of the ways to nourish your self management skills.

Be Aware - It is imperative to be aware of your each and every action. You should be able to identify the emotional state in which you are in and act accordingly. Be a silent spectator and a witness to the emotions that reminisce past your mind but do not indulge yourself in it.

Enhance Your Knowledge - Find time to read about the life histories of men/women who have become successful in their lives. Try to learn more about their habits and day to day activities. Question yourself as to why they became successful? Majority of them would have led a disciplined life embellished with flashes of self management advocacies. Emulate those wonderful characteristics and try to incorporate these traits into your life.

Pamper yourself once in a while - Make a get away once in a while to a place which can stimulate your intellectual /spiritual musing. Listen to some soul searching music and while away your time by watching the beautiful nature unfolding itself in front of you. Savor some exotic cuisines and relish each moment with your families.

Talk to your self - Find time to indulge in soliloquies with your conscience. You will be surprised to get startling answers from the deepest recess of your mind. If you find yourself in trouble, talk to yourself because no body can guide you in a better way than your own conscience.

There is a famous story about a Harvard Professor who once went to meet a Zen Buddhist monk. The two of them met in a cafeteria and they ordered coffee. When the coffee came the monk took the pot and starting pouring coffee in to the professor's cup. He kept on pouring even after the cup was full. Coffee spilled all over the place. The professor was shocked and he retaliated for this unruly behavior. The monk then told him that the professor's mind is just like the cup filled with ego and pride. He needs to first empty it so that he can be receptive to the monk's teaching.

Let us all, for a change, tune ourselves inwards and try to see what is going on in our mind. Out of the clutter of thoughts that breezes through, we need to churn out the good ones and siphon out the same as part of your personality. This cleansing process will help in purifying your mind, body and soul.

Be aware of your thoughts and deeds. If you are able to do that you have gravitated close to mastering the art of self management.

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