Men in urban India are going through a unique and complex phase. This is especially apt for the middle-class society in our country. Men in urban India want to be modern and broad-minded simultaneously. Well to be fair enough to them, some of them actually have those rare qualities mentioned above, but for most of them it is just a façade. Urban men have finally realized the benefits of double income within the family. So they would definitely want to get married to an educated, well placed woman who is also supposedly good looking, wears western outfits when the occasions demand but at the same time she is the ideal wife and the conventional, dutiful daughter-in-law. So in a nutshell men look for much more in a woman today when they are planning to get married.
Gone are the days when Indian women were just home makers. Today she is into multi-tasking and the expectations from her has gone up by leaps and bounds. She has to manage her house-hold, look after her kids, please her husband and his family, manage o and compete with her male colleagues in the office , and when she is back home at the end of a hard day, it is she who has to take care of the kid(s) and continue with her household chores till late nights. And this is not the end to it. Whenever there is a get-together or a party, her husband should not feel ashamed or let down by her appearance. She should maintain a glass-hour figure so that her husband can proudly flaunt her like his precious prized possession in front of his friends.
Strangely enough I have seen many urban young men politely standing up and gallantly opening the door(s) for the fairer sex but when it comes to their wives, the rules in the book change. They may have done the same thing during their courtship days but when the wives do dare to crib at times for lack of such exhibitions, the husbands' reply is crisp and sweet. "Darling...you are my very own...and I know how strong you are to take good care of yourself as well as of me"
In metros like Mumbai and Bangalore the concept of "DINK" (i.e. Double Income No Kids) is the "in thing". However I strongly feel, urban couples are opting for it more out of compulsion because they don't have adequate support base to look after the children and the temptation of a comfortable life because both of them are earning is too great to let go. Interestingly enough I know a couple, who have been married for more than 7-8 years, can easily have a child as they have adequate support base, both of them are earning good money, yet they feel they should not have a child as that would interfere with their bohemian life style....Strange are the ways.
Another phenomenon which can be observed amongst the urban couples is that they hardly have time for each other. Most of the time is spent in the office every day and extra-marital affairs with colleagues are alarmingly growing in numbers. This is very queer as it doesn't matter whether the couples had a love marriage or an arranged marriage. Temptations are high, patience is going down and the kind of expectations couples have from each other are constantly multiplying.
I also know a couple who live in UK and both the partners had a broken marriage earlier. Perhaps when a couple settles down for the second time, they are much more cautious to make it work. This friend of mine is in a top position working for a big multinational and his wife is a home maker. In spite of always having a high pressured life style, the husband makes it a point to come back and cook dinner for the entire family. I asked him once that what makes him do so. Is he emulating the Britons and trying to follow their footsteps? When I heard his answer, I was actually impressed. He told me that his wife must be tired looking after their kid for the entire day. When he helps her with the dinner, this is his way of telling her, how much he loves her and understands how hard she is working for the entire family.
I was instantly in love with my friend's answer. Incidents like these tells me not lose my hope...hope for a better future, hope for better understanding and affection amongst the urban couples. A phenomenon which is found rarely in today's youth. I am confident that a day will come, when Indian men will really understand their better halves and the wives in turn will learn to appreciate the little gestures through which their husbands try to express their feelings.
About Author / Additional Info:
I am an enthusiat author from Kolkata, India. Reading and writing has been my passion since my child hood days. Hope you like my article.