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My Dear Inlaws | Common Issues faced by a Daughter-In-Law after MarriageBY: neera ahuja | Category: Women | Submitted: 2011-03-12 01:18:53
Article Summary: "This article is about inlaws , their thinking that Bahu is an alien who has come from differnt planet which is her parents home and she should be restricted in everything so that she dont feel too comfortable at her home.."
My dear Inlaws
A women when gets engaged with her would be husband she starts weaving her dreams of a beautiful life from that very day. Before marriage every thing goes goody-goody with husband as well as inlaws but after getting married the reality comes. The curtains get open and she realizes that all the promises done while taking the Saat Pheras (Marriage rituals) are forgotten by his male who dominates her life and do what he wishes to do.
Even though our society is accepting all kinds of changes, the western culture is welcomed by the mother-in-law (Saas) but not for her Bahu (Daughter-in-law) for her lovely daughter. This difference will always be there, Saas can never be a Maa (Mother), neither she make Bahu comfortable to become daughter.
The things which I am discussing are more or less the same in every house.
Inlaws are ready to give space and freedom to their daughters but when it comes to Bahu Rani a big NO-NO. There is always this difference between a Bahu and Sister-in-law (SIL). SIL can wear short skirts at home, she can do job as well, can go to parties and movies with her friends but Bahu you are the Izzat (or dignity) of the house how can you go out and do all this stuff or earn money and in case they allow they want all her money, not even a single penny should be with her. Bahu should drape Saree, get up at 6 AM in the morning , do all that Puja-Paath and then start with performing all that household duties till the night,and when it comes to their sweet daughter if she will pick even a single glass of water it would be a big insult, and a tag on bahu that she is not even good enough to take care of family members properly. If Bahu has gone to her parents home and even Saas is not there at home for few days, then dear mother make sure that a maid is arranged in place of Bahu to perform all the duties, so that lovely daughter don't have to do anything. You must be thinking that I am talking foolishly that these things happen at old times when Bahu use to bear the torcher of her inlaws now she just tell them what she wish she will do only that much nothing more can be expected , yes I agree that now a days these cases are less but friends they are still prevalent in our society mostly in towns and villages and cities are no exceptions.
Though todays women are educated ,working , confident but still has to bear all this specially in the first year of the marriage, after that they adjust and get used to it and even inlaws get little less milder in their domestic violence.
Here I would discuss the role and few charactrstic of these inlaws
Sister in law the 21st century vamp has all the modern techniques to give torcher to her dear Bhabhi, like telling her to make a new dish for her after she has prepared the whole food , just because this SIL don't want to eat that routine food, SIL is tired after a hectic job schedule to give her oil message at midnight when Bahu is free from all her duties, after all dear bhabhi is at home all the day so she cant get tired. Even at the midnight this chit-chat session of SIL don't stop , a good amount of conversation goes between bother and sister, and even if Bahu want to sleep she cant tell her SIL to go and sleep as it would be the insult of SIL.there are many more characteristics which we will discuss later .
Mother in law , the No.2 vamp after SIL for whom this angel is nothing more than a maid , just providing her do-jodi-kapda and do waqt ki roti is sufficient. Rest she is responsible to take care of each and every family member and if she failed to do so at any point of time then oh my god she is hanged with the cruel words of her Saas.
Husband, the romantic villan who is the love of this women for whom she just leave her home and give more than due importance,,with whom her emotions are attached, play with her emotions and betray her trust. No long is concerned with what is happening to her wife or is she happy. He leave all her problems to be solved by her and does not want to interfere in her problems because then how can he be the good son .
However there is one villan among these villan and vamp group who is expected to be little milder than them and that is father in law,he who at times understand this new lady and has little fatherly affection towards her, and if worst then he is the head of this villan family.
Oh! oh! How can I forget him, my dear readers,last but not the least here I present Mr. brother in law, another member of the family. He is almost the neutral member of the family, he neither support his bhabhi nor his family. He is concerned with his own personal life, though at times it happen that at times he can be good or support his good Bhabhi or worst family, but maximum he is in his own world.
But inlaws don't forget that Hindi phrase "jaisi karni waisi bharni". If you are doing this with somebody else's daughter , your daughter cant escape from the same life or even worst life at her inlaws home so please before you do this just think once .Start accepting this new member of your family with a hearty welcome,and stop thinking that she is alien.,she is ever ready to win your heart once you support her.There are so many suicide cases of married women who hang themselves just because they no long can adjust to this kind of enviorment so stop this new member of your family to take this extreme step of suicide. She didn't marry to get traumatised by you and one day commit suicide. Don't stifle her to live over there and tell me is enjoyment or happiness after marriage should be stopped , does that new member of the house don't have right to be happy should she stop expecting things form you if she is always available for your seva 24x7, then give her reward for that,and that is her only expectation from you, nothing more she want just love and care will serve her purpose of happiness Help her in leading a beautiful life in this new world after marriage, don't let her think that "Sasural genda phool".
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