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How to Save a Friendship that is Fizzling Out

BY: Catherine Melling | Category: Relationships | Submitted: 2010-07-05 09:54:36
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Article Summary: "You are not quite sure when it happens, and you certainly do not know why, but all of a sudden, your best friend is no longer your best friend!.."


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You could be ready to settle down, engaged to be married toning down your nights on the town, she however still wants to party Thursday, Friday, Saturday and is not interested in committing to one man, you find her over bearing and over the top, she finds you dull and boring. The niggling might have started and the bitching to your other friends, the calls less and less and before you know it, you have not spoken in over a month.

Some friendships naturally come to an end, like any relationship and it does not have to be a terrible, bitter break up. It also does not have to be the end of the friendship, if both of you can accept you have grown into different people, the old bond is almost certainly still there, deep down and some form of a friendship can remain, even if you are not constantly on the phone gossiping like the good old days.

If a friendship has genuinely come to an end, very little in common, irritating each other to the point of no return, and both of you seem fine with this, then it might be time to accept this and move on, however if you have both simply changed, but care about each other then there is no reason why you cannot still be friends.

Here are a few tips on how to keep fading friendships alive.

1. Acknowledge that you are different people, with different hobbies, interests and opinions and respect the others hobbies, interests and opinions. It would be boring if everybody was the same. You may not always agree with everything they do, but they might not agree with everything that you do, and if you both respect that it should stop future conflicts.

2. Find something you can do together that you both enjoy. If you used to go clubbing together and now one of you does not want to go clubbing, but the other does not want to sit in a café chatting, go shopping together or to a bar for cocktails, join a gym or exercise class if you both like to keep fit, yoga or Pilates. Find a hobby that you can do together and by sharing this experience together, it will keep a common interest between you.

3. Don't try to change your friend - if it is you that has changed, then you cannot expect her to change as well to suit your new lifestyle. If it is her that has changed, you cannot expect her to "change back" if she has new interests, a new man, outlook on life etc and changed her views and opinions, you have to respect that. Get to know your "new friend" or ask her to "get to know the new you" and enjoy doing new things together and remising and laughing about the past.

4. Embrace the differences - it would be boring if everyone was the same, so enjoy revelling in your friend's stories about her crazy weekend away with a biker, whilst she might enjoy the tales of your romantic weekend away with your fiancé, all candle lights and roses.

5. Make time for each other - once a week, once a fortnight, or even once a month, but make sure you set side a time to spend quality time together catching up on the goings on in each of your lives.

6. Take comfort in knowing as friends you will always be there for one an other, no matter what life throws at you, and how both of you may change. It is nice to know there is at least one person out there who has your back.

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Comments on this article: (1 comments so far)

Comment Comment By Comment Date
Very nice tips. Another way which has worked for me is not to get too sentimental about friendship, it leads to too many expectations and people start feeling hurt over small and stupid things. Keeping a healthy distance is probably a good idea. Zainab 2010-07-11 15:57:36 220

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