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Remarriage Tips: Remarrying after a divorce or spouse death (widow)BY: Jessica | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2009-08-11
Few years after marriage many of us lose our spouse due to one reason or another. This may include divorce, compromise or may be as a result of the death of your spouse. Although most of us usually commit (initially) to lead our life as a 'Single', but within months the need of a partner starts to re-ignite thoughts about remarriage. Remarrying after divorce and remarrying after the death of spouse (widow) are two very different things.
CASE A: Remarrying after divorce
Divorce with ex-spouse leaves us with bitter feelings and many people just start to avoid people of opposite s*x all together, atleast for some time. During this time a person also goes through a realization cycle about the qualities he hated the most in his/her previous spouse and other qualities that were missing but indeed very desirable. Since this person is alone, he/she gets plenty of time to explore himself. These people are able to think their life in a much more practical way. Sooner or later, image of a new 'perfect' spouse starts to appear and it is perfectly normal. Often unknowingly, this person starts to search for another life partner, may in in a friends party, gym, online or a coffee shop. Remarriage is actually a good idea in most cases because person acts more sensibly this time. Although children and mess left from previous marriage (like divorce settlements) may complicate individual circumstances. In most cases the children will be quite opposed to your idea of remarrying after divorce, as they will always believe that you should be with 'their' mother and not get a new mother for them by doing a remarriage.
CASE B: Remarrying after your spouse death (Widow)
Remarrying after the death of a spouse is a totally different ball game. Sooner or later the shock and trauma of losing your spouse starts to fade away, and that's quite natural. The idea of remarriage is often proposed by your relatives, friends and often the need of a women's helping hand in taking care of your kids may be the factor. But the biggest factor that pushes the remarriage idea is 'loneliness'. Infact in most cases it is a very practical approach. It is much easier to find a new spouse in this case because of two main factors: Sympathy and clean record. Let me elaborate, a person who has lost his wife (due to death) certainly gets sympathy from other people including a prospective spouse. Additionally, unlike divorce where the reliability of a person is strained a bit, on the other hand a person who lost his wife due to death has no such issue. Infact his scores additional marks of being honest, reliable and dedicated. This person also does not have issues like divorce settlements and alimony payments.
In both cases, a person needs to self evaluate whether or not he/she wants to really remarry of stay single. This decision should not be influenced significantly by others. May be staying single is the right decision, therefore a person needs to decide in peace what he/she wants.
PRACTICAL REMARRIAGE TIPS:
1. Be very honest:
There is no hard in expressing your likes and dislikes in a polite fashion. If there are any constraints and issues that really annoyed you in your previous marriage then let them out. Share your expectations and be honest. Remarriage is a bit complex affair and it is better not to get marry an incompatible person.
2. Take your time:
As mentioned before, do a thorough revaluation of yourself and your personal circumstances and decide what kind of life-partner will fit better in your circumstances. Do not just go by the looks.
3. Share plenty of time with your prospective partner. You both need to understand each other.
4. It is OK to marry someone who is in the same situation as you are - Separated or Widow. Marrying a widow should not be an obstacle for you.
5. Learn to compromise.
6. Does your approach match on how to handle your existing children. Did your children get some say regarding their new mom/dad.
7. Discuss finance issues up front before remarrying.
8. Learn from your past and treat one another with respect.
9. Your age and difference between you two.
10. Searching for a new spouse 'online' is one of the most practical ways to go about it, unless you already know someone.
Article Source: http://www.saching.com
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* Indian Television Journalism - NDTV, IBN, Times Now, HT, NewsX
* Basics of Accounting | Concept of Double Entry (Debit and Credit)
* Rediscovered Life at 26!!
* Globalization and the revolution in the field of communication
* Love.. Make it survive...
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