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Misguided marriages

BY: SREENIVAS | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2009-11-21

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What should be an ideal marriage? A boy and girl meets and then they decide that they can make a perfect match. Of course, this is the practice followed in many of the western countries but a rare practice in India . We claim our self to be a modernized and civilized society but still keep a highly orthodox perception about marriage. What makes us think this way ?

There are two roadblocks to perfect marriage in Indian society . One is horoscope matching and the other is the practice of dowry. In most of the marriages, these are the two traits that encourage the parents to choose a bride or bridegroom for their child. Needless to say , the bride and bridegroom never get the privilege of taking decisions about their marriage . It is a naked truth that young generation also falls under the illusions of astrology and dowry .

There is a high degree of uncertainty in this world . This uncertainty is many a times a result of the social situations that may be independent of the will and interest of the individual .What astrology does is , it projects this uncertainty upon the stars in order to thus obtain a higher degree of dignity and justification in where the individuals hope to participate themselves. It is obviously not possible to prove or disprove the influence of heavenly bodies on the fates of human beings . The fact that astrology is not falsifiable , of course , only encourages many to believe in it .This is the point where astrology wins over common man . It blurs the distinction between fact and fiction ,thus giving an assurance that there is a much higher degree of over realism in horoscope matching . Even if everything else matches , if horoscope matching fails , the marriage will not happen . Many a times , the bride and bridegroom are not allowed to meet unless the horoscope gives a perfect match .And the funny part is that the younger generation is forced to get married to the owner of perfect horoscope .The situation is so grave that it is the astrologers who decide who should marry whom in a particular area. Only after marriage , many partners realize that they are not made for each other .

Another thing that misguides marriages is dowry . Even though , the dowry system first came from upper middle class families , now it is prevalent in all caste and religion irrespective of their economical status . In some states , men are forced to get married to earn more money through dowry and the middleman get a part of it as commission .The dowry syndrome never stops ; asking more dowry , Bride is either sent home in shame or tortured endlessly. An estimated 25000 brides are killed or maimed every year in India over dowry disputes .

Horoscope matching and the practice of dowry are long time issues but are getting stronger day by day misleading marriages and relationships . People who traps themselves in these evils not only regrets in their rest of their life but succumb to tolerate an unhappy and unhealthy relationship . The young generation has to be aware of the far reaching consequences of this system and make up their mind to fight these evils . Education alone cannot erase our false believe systems and practice but the urge to develop a free and logical mind can help . We must rouse ourselves against these indignities which is catching the Indian marriages like cancer . Marriages happens in heaven only when it happens at the sole discretion of Men and women .

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Rightly said
I totally agree. Horoscopes and Dowry are just tools to bind marriage. A matching horoscope means that you and your partner are "matched by the gods", and hence you don`t have a moral right to divorce! On the other hand Dowry is like selling the groom. It ensures that a groom will not leave the wife as a "price" has been paid for him. Notice the difference with Islamic practise of token dowry paid by men to in-laws which is akin to paying for a bride. Islam does allow men to keep many wives!
Visakh Sankar 2009-11-25

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