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Manipulation in Love

BY: Mala Parikh Shroff | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2008-12-16

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   Mala Parikh Shroff
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Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.- - -- Dr. Joyce Brothers

One would think, could there be ‘manipulation' in Love? But thinking deeper we realize that exploitation gets involved at one point or other in life with our loved ones.. that's the reason we sometimes feel the aloofness with the person whom we love.. because the genuineness is not there from our part.. Why is it that we tend to get at that influential stage with our loved ones? Is it because we need to be in power with that person? Manipulation could tend to relate with power, mostly the power is on emotional and sentimental level unless the person is abusive by nature. Generally the ‘ego' is satisfied when it gains power over the other person - usually power struggles are considered normal in a healthy relationship, if we can balance the struggle - but it is our ego sometimes that is questionable. Are we ready to modify our ego? Do we love that person enough for us to go through the ego alteration process within us? How far are we going to let this power over power us? Sometime to create a harmonious relationship we need to understand each other and then let go. Like think why and when we display power over that person, for e.g - do we always have to have a say on what restaurant to go to or which movies to see or how to spend the weekend? What are we scared of? That if we let the other person decide and if we have more fun then our ego will have to relinquish some of its power? Are we not caught up in this power struggle on a daily basis on all aspects of our lives? I think the key here is to become tolerant, more sensitive, have a positive perception towards the other person's feeling and thoughts. Only then we would be able to enjoy and recognize the optimistic traits that the other person possesses and gear towards building a more successful relationship.

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