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Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage - Which one is better?

BY: Shivani | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2009-06-23
 



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   Shivani
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Marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, a relationship in which a male and a female promise to be companions for a life span after tying the nuptial knot. It brings significant stability and security in the relationships of human beings, which is otherwise incomplete. It is not only a union of two human beings but also of two families. Marriage to some extent cannot be successful without the blessings and consent of the members of the family. It doesn't matter whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, the success of this relationship is all that matters.

India has always had a long tradition of arranged marriages where the parents find the right match for their children. Due to our social structure, arranged marriages are more prevalent in our society and on the other hand, love marriages are considered as a taboo amongst people. The main reason behind this act of parents is to get their children married within the same cast, and also into good families. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with arranged marriages as long as the children are happy. On the other hand parents must understand their children if they love someone and want to go for a love marriage. Sometimes the children do not kknow what is right or wrong for them and in that case parents are forced to take drastic steps. Parents need to understand their children and children need to understand their parents point of view before any step is taken. Both love marriage and arranged marriage escorts with their own pros and cons. Here are some positive and negative points in both types of marriages:-

Arranged Marriages offer security for women since they have their family backup whereas love marriages provide freedom and more independence. In love marriages, since the boy and the girl know each other for a long time, they know what to expect from one another, they are aware of each others weaknesses and strengths before tying the sacred knot. They get time to explore things related to each other's nature, well before wedding. Hence it makes easier to develop a decent comfort level after marriage, with ease and thereby helps them to survive throughout the rocky phases of life. On the other hand, when a marriage is arranged by the parents, the two people do not know much about each other, they learn about and discover each other after marriage, sometimes their likes and dislikes might not match but it is too late by then. If all goes well then a love marriage can turn out to be a blessing else, it can be a disaster in which mainly the women have to suffer. In a love marriage the boy not only loves but also respects his partner whereas in most arranged marriages the female is only treated as a commodity that may be loved bot not necessarily respected.

In the above discussion love marriage has scored more than arranged marriage but here is a downfall of love marriage. There is one key to making a successful marriage that is probably one of the hardest things in the world to do. It's called compromise. In case of love marriage, since they have fallen in love before getting married, the level of expectations is at the higher end. And if the person expects more from his/her partner, this leads to lesser compromises. On the other hand, in case of arranged marriages, compromise and adjustments are the two major foundation pillars, because the married couple does not have any unbending notions from each other. The compromise factor might work wonders here, while in love marriages, that might prove to be yet another cause for clash. In a love marriage the boy and the girl have mostly seen the best of each other and so the expectations are very high from one another but the worst of each other is yet to come and when it comes, it leads to a disaster. Therefore the rate of divorce in love marriages has been constantly going up whereas arranged marriages are still being able to survive and rarely reach the point of divorce.

Due to this factor, people consider arranged marriage as enduring and a cut above love marriage. This is such a topic, on which the discussion can go boundless. The bottom line is that be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage, both of the partners should realize that your spouse is not always going to be perfect. But tell your spouse every day that you love and appreciate him/her. There is no clear answer about which one is better than the other, it all depends on your personal circumstances and personality. However, a love marriage turned into an arranged one is the best thing that can happen. If a love marriage gets the consent of the family members as well then it can really turn into a beautiful relationship. At the same time arranged marriages can also be successful if both the girl and the boy are given the freedom to spend some time together and to decide for themselves if they one to get married to the person or not, after all, it is them who have to spend their whole lives together. Love, trust, loyalty, patience, respect, understanding, appreciating are some of the keywords of a successful marriage, if all this is their in a marriage then be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage, it is bound to be a happy and a everlasting one.

WHERE LOVE, RESPECT AND APPRECIATION ARE OPENLY EXPRESSED, THAT HOME IS THE HAPPIEST ONE- SO PLEASE PUT YOUR BEST TO SAVE YOUR PRECIOUS MARRIAGE.

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Comments on this article: (9 comments so far)

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Comment Comment By Comment Date
MARRIAGES ARE FIXED IN HEAVEN
the proverb `marriages are fixed at heaven` is more true in love marriages. in love marriage both boy and girl first fall in love, then in literary sense marriages happen. so love hre plays the important role for doing the marriage among them.
APURBA KUMAR DAS 2010-01-29
Understand love
Marriages are one part in our life and also after marriages so many couples are quauueled in arranged marriages or love marriages but it is rare in love marriages, it is in somuch in arranged marriages why because Lovers are understood each other in love and also they can adjust in life after marriage. But it is not possible in arranged marriages.
SEKHAR 2010-01-07
marriage
marriage is necessary for everyone,after the marriage we know about our actual responsibility what is? it is not necessary that you have done love or arrange marriage,it is necessary that how you are relibe with your life patner n what is your understanding with your life patner.
abdullah 2010-01-02
arranged marriages
thanks alot.......... yes i realy perfer arrange marriages because this is way for couples towards success there is backup of family and they can compromise dedication with one an other and there is real faith between the two......
safdar ali 2009-12-04
Thanks
Thank you .... for making such a wonderfull artical it helps me lot in my english speaking institute for public speaking on the same topic. If you have some more content for love or the same topic pls mail me.
Student 2009-12-04
marriage
actually this is the key to success your married life show the love , respect and honesty... don`t bore and find mistake in her/him.
lucky 2009-11-18
love marrige
in love marrige couple are responsible for taken decision. at least they cant blame their parents if i had done this then it would have been this. so i am in the favour of love marrige.
rajesh 2009-09-25
Journalist, writer
After reading this article, it seems the writer is not like that Greek mythological creature-Icarus-the one who flew too close to the sun and got its wings burnt. The writer knows her limitations and writes accordingly. Having said that it was an educative piece.
Ravi Dhaliwal 2009-08-10
smile
your smile is very cute.........
lover 2009-08-08



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