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How to Know if He is Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now

BY: Guest | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2010-01-24
 



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You look into each others' eyes across the candle-lit table, and something inside of you glows. You can't hold in the smile as it spreads across your face, and although you are firmly sitting in a chair, you feel as though the two of you are floating together. You skin tingles at his touch, and you can't imagine being with anyone else.

It's a perfect scene. Who wouldn't want to feel wholly loved and cared for in the embrace of someone who you love back? And though this is a tough issue to even contemplate early in the relationship, before you invest all of your time, emotion, and energy, spend a moment to consider whether this is Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. And decide whether he is what you are looking for.

How do you know who Mr. Right is? While it would be nice for him to show up on your doorstep with a -My Name is Mr. Right- name-tag on, this generally isn't the case (and if he does show up with that name-tag, I would be even more wary of him!). However, we can get a sense of who Mr. Right is in your life by looking for a few different key qualities.

Your Situation. While Mr. Right may be right in front of you, if you are not looking for him or are not ready for him yet, he might turn out to be Mr. Right-but-not-right-now. Know your own situation. You may be dating Mr. Right, but it might not be time to advance to engagement or marriage for another few years. Don't be afraid of waiting if you're not ready; if he's Mr. Right, he'll still be there when the time comes.

Your Values. What is your worldview? Do you want to be a stay-at-home mom? Do you want a stay-at-home husband? Do you want to stay local so you can stay near your family and friends, or would you be willing or excited to move across the town, state or country? If you are unsure of what your values are, think about them on your own right now. It may take a while, but it's important to know who you are and what you value before your own perception of these things is influenced by your desire for your date. When you figure it out for yourself, talk about it with him. You'll figure it out pretty quickly if your values are incompatible.

Your Non-Negotiables. These are the values where you would draw a line in order to maintain them. What things would you not compromise on? For some, this could include their faith. For others, it could be that they do or do not want to have kids. These are the kinds of things that if they conflict with the other person, will automatically cause the relationship to be a non-starter. It may be worth bringing these up early in the relationship so that you don't mislead one another or get too committed before realizing that your respective non-negotiables conflict.

Your Attraction. Let's face it, if he's Mr. Right and you do tie the knot eventually, you are going to be with him for the rest of your life. While attraction builds as you spend your lives together, it is important to be physically attracted to him. After all, when you have that first kiss on the altar, you want to be able to enjoy it!

Written By: Jen Hurst

Article Source: http://www.saching.com



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