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Fighting for your life - Drug abuse and saving my baby girlBY: Princess | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2008-06-26
Having a baby should be the most enjoyable time of a women's life, not only the women but the men as well. It makes it all the more special when the parents are childhood sweethearts. Love stories are so easy to read but so hard to come by and when I read in the papers about children being brought up through abuse and drugs it makes it so hard to know that another child will fall through the net of social services. People take marriage for granted and most people don't realise how someone can just change their attitude towards you over the slightest thing. They get married so young and have a baby and think life will be perfect, but it never is. A baby puts strain on relationships and if the relationship is volatile anyway it is even harder. I know this because I was in a relationship governed by drugs and it is not easy. I had my baby in 2004, a little girl she is beautiful and perfect. Her dad was not at the birth when she was born, he left the hospital to go home and get high. His father could not locate him for three days, he went looking for him, and he finally found him and told him he needed to be there at the hospital for me. He came to pick me up and take me and my daughter home, and then it was nothing but sadness from then on. No one rand my Dad when I gave birth and Dad was so mad at me because I did not call, we had no phone at home, and when he took me to the hospital they immediately put me in the labour room. I was so mad at him for not calling them, My Mum was the only one who came to see me. I stayed at home for a week, and then I had to go over to his mums to stay to let his mum help me out for a few weeks, till I healed, I was struggling to take care of me and the baby. He was of no help to me, then when I was better, I went back home. He was still not doing right by me. Things got worse when the baby was at home. She would cry and I would get up and tend to her, then she would cry more and I would get up and tend to her again. This went on for weeks it seemed. One night I was so tired from no sleep, I did not hear her cry, then I heard a cry that woke me from my sleep that was so piercing, I got up instantaneously and he was shaking my baby. I had to tear her away from him, I took her in my arms and took her to the living room to rock her, and I told him to never ever touch her again. I rocked her to sleep; we fell asleep in the rocking chair together. I made up my mind that I would just sleep in the chair with her every night from then on. I did not want him to harm me or my baby, when she at last slept all night I put her in her baby bed and she would sleep all night then. One night he came into the living room, and I was asleep in the chair, I had just put her down for the night in her bed. I was alone in the living room; I had got use to sleeping in there. He had taken something, his eyes were fully dilated and he had a gun, he started to point it at me, I got up and ask him what he was doing with that gun. He said he was going to kill me, I got up and went over to the couch and climbed up on the top of the couch and then tried to get on the curtains, I pleaded with him not to do this. The baby was in her room asleep. I was so frightened. He pulled the trigger and he laughed. I just stood there on the couch, I stayed awake the whole time till the next morning. He got up and went to work, we never talked about that again, I knew he had taken something and he was not himself. Drugs are a terrible thing to waste your life and loved ones over. I told him I was going and we needed to take some time away from each other for a while, and then if he got better I would come back. I started to pack up my things, and put them in the car, I put the baby's car seat in the car as I came back into the house, he met me in the doorway, he picked me up by my neck and began to choke me, I was trying to pry his hands away from me, he was to strong for me, I collapsed on the floor and he walked off, I lay there for maybe 10 minutes or so, I had to move I had to leave him I went to the baby's room and got her and put her in the car, I got in the car and started to drive away. He followed me on foot behind the car for two blocks, I never got away, I had to turn around and go back, I kept seeing him in the rear view mirror and I could not stand to leave him. I went back, and he promised never to hurt me again. He was good again for a while, but he went right back to smoking pot, We moved out of that house and into another close to my parents, I was so happy to make the move, The new house was like breath of fresh air, and a new beginning, we would go over and visit mom and dad and we would leave our daughter with them a lot while we went to the farm to go fishing. I went to work full time at a youth centre and we could only go on the weekends, then things got worse again. I had had surgery so I could not have anymore children, and I was recovering from this and he was doing drugs again, he came home from work on Christmas eve, we had an argument about something I don't remember, I think it was about spending Christmas at our folks house, we always could not agree on splitting our time with everyone. He was definitely on something again, and he took my Christmas tree and threw it out of our house, I was at my mum and dads on Christmas evening. The neighbours were watching him and had called the police. I was not there when they came. They had just left. I went in and ask him why he did this; He had no reason for it. I told him to go out there and pick up the stuff and bring it in. He straightened up for a few more months and his father and mother had a talk with him that if he didn't straighten his act up he was going to lose his family for sure. We moved into a house in the same street as my parents, we were planning buying the house eventually when the landlord got ready to sell it, I really wanted this house. I was still working and my daughter was eight years old now, I came home from work one weekend, and found him sitting in the house, he was sitting in his chair naked, my daughter was in her room, I was so mad at him, I ask him what his problem was, he would not answer me, he told me to get my daughter and go to my mum and dads house, so I did, and I did not come back. He came down to try and talk to me, I told Dad to tell him I did not want to talk to him at all. He thought my parents were trying to keep me from him, he would not take no for an answer, dad had shut the door, he did not leave, he put his fist through the window of my parents house. My mother called the police and she called his parents. I told my parents that I could not stay with them he would probably try to hurt them to get to me. I went into a homeless shelter with my daughter, I kept my job, and went to my job everyday and came home to the shelter. He did not know where I was, except he bothered me at work all the time, I had to quit my job, because he was causing me so many problems on my job. I then was staying in the shelter and not working. We finally found a place to live and moved into a duplex, two bedrooms. We only had to pay for electricity and rent. I found a job again at a local grocery store, my neighbours watched my daughter for me while I worked. I left him that day and I never went back, he never even bothered with his daughter, he died in 2007 at Christmas I felt sorry for my daughter but I was free at last. If I have learned anything from my life, it is to live it safely and to cherish what I have left. I hope this helps lots of people realize that drugs are no good for anyone and they only cause death or pain and suffering when used in the wrong way. Don't do drugs and don't think that staying in a relationship with someone who does will get better, because they will take you down with them if you let them. Some people cannot be helped no matter how much you loved them and tried to help them or think they will quit doing drugs. Article Source: http://www.saching.com About Author / Additional Info: I live in a small village in cheshire UK, I have a beautiful daughter, wonderful partner and a good job. My life has been up and down for as long as I can remember but now it seems to all be working out. 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