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Even In The Midst Of Crisis Part 11 (Six Keys To Thriving In Crisis)

BY: macmiky | Category: Women | Post Date: 2009-02-14
 



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1] Looking at the greatness of God

If you were challenged to make a list of all the good things God has done in your life, what will you do? I heard on one Sunday morning from a famous preacher who urged his Christians to instead of spend time on the past and negative thoughts, take time to look at God's greatness in their lives. A lot of things I considered negative happened to me such as losing my virginity to a boy for a baby at such a tender age and not being able to experience what it was being a teenager. Even though l had a very supportive and loving family, I just kept dwelling on my mistakes no matter how much they tried. Members of my community isolated me because I had a child at thirteen and worst of all out of wet luck what is an abominable act in my culture. I was treated for so long as an outcast and that affected my self esteem a great deal. However, my family despite the financial difficulties thought it was better to send me back to school. I was then given a second chance and went back to school which was not very easy because I was still being treated the same way. This to a certain extend made me escape from home to live in quite another city with my aunt. Things did not get any better. She instead disowned me out of shame that people will laugh at her for having a niece who committed an abominable act. When my older brother heard about my suffering , he came and took me back home to my family where I returned no less than the prodigal son. I was once again sent back to school and this time nothing was going to stop me. I knew for some reason that education was going to be my only way out of the village and out of poverty. Most importantly, that was a very rare opportunity as opposed to the other girls in my community who are sold into marriage so the money can be used to educate boys. I had my son when he was just twenty-four weeks and he came with his feet first which was another abomination act in my culture and will require the baby to be killed and thrown in a valley at the outskirts of the village. He wasn't because my family's beliefs were different. Only five in a 100 babies born prematurely survive in my country and mine was one of them.
I have been dwelling on my mistakes and living in pain for too long so, I challenged myself to make a list of what God has done for me. It was a never ending list and I just had to thank Him for His goodness meanwhile asking for forgiveness for the way I had been living. I also had to forgive myself and move on. My life was transformed and has never been the same. I do not cope or survive but thrive because I have seen His greatness in unimaginable ways.
Most of us will make some kind of mistake in life but the better way to deal with it is not to sit and keep dwelling on it because it's done already. That's why we can't change the past but can use those mistakes to make better choices in the future. When those thoughts come, just think about His greatness and you will see and feel that stress living you. Let that old beaten up person go and let God make you a new person and you will thrive no matter what kind of crisis comes your way. Try it and that's why you will!!!!!!!!!!!

2] Count yourself blessed

I have personally had my own share of crisis ,from the death of loved ones ,personal setbacks ,financial difficulties and more and at the same time been blessed in ways unimaginable. From being born into the world by my parents to living healthy through the years, from waking up to the light of a new day and breathing this fresh air, from having an abundance of food, clothes, from being blessed with the fruits of the womb, for education, job, shelter, friends and most of all for living in the greatest country in the whole world where I am so protected as a women.
I come from a continent where the basic necessities of life such as food, shelter, healthcare, water, clothes are very hard to get. Women and children are raped, starved, beaten and killed every day and have no place to live but here I am with everything. I see myself so blessed and thank God everyday .what about you? This is one of the best keys of thriving in crisis especially in the world we are living in today.
I have a friend called Nuku who is the biggest complainer of all times despite coming from the same continent with me and living here in the U.S and working as a registered nurse. I decided I was not going to keep watching her go in a wrong direction, so I asked her one day if she has ever taken time to look at all the ways God has blessed her with? Her response was, please give me a break. I did but returned to her again and again. Two months later she called me crying and my first thought was that something terrible was going on. I asked her to calm down and tell me what was happening. She instead asked me to drive to her place and when I got there, she said, I will never complain again. And I said ok, what happened. She put the T.V on to a channel that was showing a document .ry of women and children who are raped, beaten and starved to death in Africa and even have no where to live but she is here with an abundance of everything and can't see it.
The good news is that, she stopped complaining from then on and have never gone back to that old self. She also tells me it is terrifying to complain. That means the world to me that she was able to come to that point of seeing herself blessed. Now she thrives and we are working towards joining the rest of the world in helping women and kids in Africa.


3] Knowing your[lists] purpose
A whole 60-70% of us will go to our graves without knowing who we are, why we were created in the first place and worst of all why God gave us all these gifts and talents. I believe very strongly that we are not on earth by accident but because He meant for us to be here. I also believe that He made everyone with very special gifts, skills, abilities and talents for a reason. But most often than not, we just settle to living our daily lives of---waking up in the morning, eating, going to work{in jobs we sometimes don't like},come back home, eating, taking a shower and going to sleep to get ready for the next day. While we are going in circles with this routine, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years go by and because time waits for no one, we get old and die. Most people have the opportunities of knowing their purpose when they are young, but ignore because life is so sweet or bitter and deters their minds. The best way to thrive in crisis or day to day living is living a purpose driven life. I lived this kind of confused life for quite a while because a lot of things happened to me as do all of us that completely deterred my ways of thinking and looking at things, although somewhere deep inside me, I wish I was doing something else instead of cleaning peoples houses or selling in stores. I knew very well I was wasting but did not know what to do. I had my youngest son in September 2004 and instead of celebrating I was suffering from the worst form of postpartum depression. It got real bad I had to beg my mother to come from Africa and take the poor little baby with her and let me fight. It was as though everything that happened to me from my childhood came pressing on me. As if that was not enough, I was in an abusive relationship, had no job, friends nor my family here. I was literally breaking down. But on one evening in November 2005, Oprah hosted a show for women who have gone through all kinds of adversities which caused them to let go of themselves. Her closing remark and advice to these ladies was ---while you are lying there on the couch beating up yourself, first ask, why was I created and why am I here, what is my purpose, why did God create me? This was how my writing was born because after the show, I went to my room, brought a notebook and a pen to see if I could come up with my purpose. I started by researching my Bible, from the creation story. But the most important thing I did was asking and letting God direct me towards that purpose. I have been trying to do those things I believe make me happy as well as serve God. It is the most rewarding feeling when you know why you are here instead of living in confusion. One of the things I like to do is giving, talking and working for women and children. I have been doing just that and my life is renewed. He created us with all these gifts and talent for a purpose .what is your purpose? Let's find out what it is and serve God with what He blessed us with now that we are young and strong and!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4] Stop dwelling on the past.

A song from my mother's Christian women fellowship group says; keep ploughing ahead and never looking back for he who holds the plough and keep looking back is not fit for the kingdom of God. My mother took quite a while trying to explain what the words meant because it got to a point where I was not able to let go of the past. I held on to a lot of things which in turn held me back, thus making it hard for me to move on. But as time unfolded and I became mentally mature, I realized it was just a waste of my time dwelling on things long done and gone, which I can not do any thing about. I also realized that what ever we said or did in the past is history which I consider a place of reference and never a place of residence and it is not worth crying ourselves to sleep about them, but could use those mistakes to help us address future issues. What matters is not where we were yesterday and what we did but where we are going and what we will be doing. It's very alright to forgive yourself, shake off the dust of bitterness from past hurts and move on. If we can get this mind-set, then it's ok to!!!!!!!!!!



5] Stop playing the blaming game.

Almost 75% of teenage mothers and older married women make mistakes of depending on the men in their lives for happiness .we start blaming the men in our lives for not making us happy and then turn to blame the kids we have for our weight gain, stretch marks, breaking skins, which all lead to low or no self esteem at all, some girls have dropped out of school because mother or father was not there. Some got into drug dealing and some prostitution. Most of us have made mistakes that lead us in a wrong direction so we turn to find someone at some point to put this blame on instead of accepting our faults and taking responsibility. I blamed my son's father for over twelve years for impregnating me, retarding my growth and making me a mother at a very young age. That was just one of those stupid mistakes. But as time unfolded and I learned and read people's stories I was inspired and started by forgiving myself, looking for good, reasonable and rewarding things to do with my life and for others. I also started looking at having my kids as the greatest blessing in the whole world. I had from that moment had a complete different mind-set which is looking for reasons to be grateful for all God and everyone has done for me. When we accept our responsibilities and stop playing the blaming game, there is an action step that follows and that leads us to!!!!!!!!!!

6} Forgiveness.
dare to forgive and free yourself.stop carrying poison with you.forgiveness heal and stops hatred.
Forgiveness is something I consider the mental and or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment of restitution. However, I as many people might agree will consider it one of the most difficult yet very important processes because it is very hard. But the most rewarding feeling in the world when we let go and forgive ourselves or someone. Let's take a scenario where some one hurts you real bad, but comes to you after a few days and ask you honestly for forgiveness. That person is eventually free from whatever the situation was and if you refuse to accept his or her apology, then you will be the one to suffer the grudge in you mine. But on the other hand if you are able to put that behind you, you will even benefit the most. It is not worthy bearing a grudge because all it does is makes you sick, so let go. Surrender all your issues to God and let Him fight your battles for you.
There is this story about two siblings who lived in the southern part of my country. Nuke, the older son was very intelligent and thus considered the best of the family while Nark the younger one was also smart in school but like cutting classes and going to town using his school fees to play around with women. Nuke had an opportunity to travel abroad for school and when Nark heard about it, he sneaked into his brother's stuff, removed his visa and passport and burnt everything to aches. His brother not only missed his flight but the opportunity to utilize his scholarship .This was a family that barely survived .There were times their poor parents could not even afford their fees. It was so terrible to even think about forgetting or let alone forgiving. But, Nuke forgave him with the blink of an eye not only because his brother apologized but because he wanted his soul to be at peace and free. Amazing isn't it. It is hard but worthy and very rewarding. There are billions of other very horrible things people do that hurts so bad but holding onto it also holds you back. Let's all choose forgiveness as journey towards freedom.

Article Source: http://www.saching.com



About Author / Additional Info: I am from West Africa but live and work in New York City .I am writing out of personal experience.I became a mother at thirteen. My life took quite a different turn .I had to take over the responsibilities of an adult I went through every kind of torture for a girl my age .Having a child at that age and out of wedlock in my culture is not only a taboo but is considered the greatest abomination of all times. Thus writing as a means of providing inspiration for today's tee mothers and women.

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