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Condolence - How To Behave When Visiting Bereaved FamilyBY: GalUR0ck | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2009-03-15
The topic seems irrational but believe me many of us don't know how to behave when we meet the relatives of the expired. Last week we got a sms mentioning our MBA lecturers were cancelled since our Professor's mother expired. I immediately sent him a condolence sms saying "Sorry to hear about the sad demise of your mother. Our heart felt condolences to you". He quickly replied back with a sms saying "God bless, your prayers are very much needed." I called my MBA friends to decide if we could go to our Professor's place. My friends suggested that since Friday and Saturday lecturers were cancelled, it would be better to decide in Sunday's lecture and then go to the Professor's place with whoever is willing from the entire class. I agreed. Today, Sunday we had another lecture. In the meanwhile, we sent our Professor an sms whether we could come at 2:15pm after the lecture was over. He replied with an affirmation and provided us his address. Our teacher left us early since we were done with the lecture. We all moved to the Professor's place. We reached there but he had gone for his prayers. We decided to stand at the entrance of his building and informed the same on sms to him. He finished his prayers, met us and asked us to visit his house. We had internally decided to meet him here only and go back, but when he invited us, we could not say a word and quietly went to his home. He introduced us to his wife and kids. She offered us water. We were feeling quite uncomfortable and awkward to speak to him. He was very low. I started the communication asking about where his mother used to stay, what had happened, how old was she, has the Professor's dad adjusted now and so on.... My Professor said he was happy to see us. He needed our prayers. He opened his heart and told us the details. There was a long silence. My Professor just got up and went inside for some thing. I looked at one of my friend and asked him if we could leave, he quietly nodded and said 5 mins. I nodded "ok". My Professor returned and was about to sit, when one of another friend got up impatiently and said, "Ok Sir, we are leaving". My Professor said ok but was surprised at our behavior. He wanted to spend time with us. I am 100% sure that he knew we felt uncomfortable, awkward and were not experienced but then this was indeed not the way to behave. I wanted to interfere in between saying lets sit for 5 more minutes but something hold me back. As we were leaving, our Professor said, "Take good care of your parents. Once you lose them, you will realize how big is the loss and then you wont have an opportunity to prove how much you loved them." I was touched by his words. We shook hands and left. While I came down, I started feeling miserable about the way we behaved. We should have sat for some more time. This was the time to pay him back. He needed us. My friends consoled me saying it was ok and the Professor would understand. But I was still not convinced. I took my cell and sent him a sms," We are sorry, We wanted to spend some more time with you, but we were a little uncomfortable. You have a lovely family. God bless you with lot of strength. May her soul rest in peace." He replied with a sms saying, "You all are like children to me. Your prayers will surely reach my Mother's soul. God bless you all. Please convey my feeling to the team. Your presence itself says a lot. I will pray for you all." I felt better but learnt a very important lesson. My Mother always tells me, it's extremely important to be a part of someone's sad day even if the opposite party is your enemy. You may miss a happy event but in no way can you miss a low moment of the one you love. Today I learnt that it's definitely important to be not only present, but to comfort a person who's low and sad, take away a bit of his sorrow by lending him your ears. If you don't know what to speak, better shut up, but never rush in such an incident. Stay a little longer if you feel that it's comforting the person. It's said, wise people learn from their mistake, Genius learn from other's. I am wise but I sincerely wish you should be a genius, learn from our mistake and not feel miserable after you did your duty half hearted. Article Source: http://www.saching.com About Author / Additional Info: Additional Articles: * Pain - Heart Break * Google Android - the new mobile Operating system (OS) * How to write an email? Netiquette or email writing style explained * Stocks - Investment 101 - Getting started with the Stock Market * Tips to Shed a Few Extra Pounds! Does this article violate or infringe on your copyright ? It is a violation of our terms for authors to submit content which they did not write and claim it as their own. 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